Love is a Collaborative Work of Art

One of my favourite ways to spend my spare time is to watch TED talks- videos of 20 minutes or less – the place where thought leaders are invited to deliver ideas worth sharing. If you haven’t browsed the TED library yet, you really are missing out on a phenomenal source of inspiration. So, I[…]

avoiding conflict

The downside to Harmonious People.

I have the privilege of meeting a broad spectrum of personality types in my work. I am often asked “Are some personalities better suited for relationships than others?” and I would say that no one ‘type’ is better or worse. Of course, some people are better suited for partnering than others, better at being a team player[…]

A story of love for skeptics

For all the skeptics- a true love story

“My life changed at the click of a button.” This, from two of the biggest online dating cynics- separated by 9300miles- recounting the details of their incredible love story. Steve (43) and single mother of two kids, Heather (39) sat down with me today to share their unbelievable journey – literally- of the past 6[…]

Relationshipping

I am not sure about other languages but we are definitely short of a word which describes the actions, behaviours and competencies involved in achieving a healthy relationship (noun). ‘Relationshipping’- my word- is a verb used to describe the ‘doing’ part of relationship.  All the actions, words and behaviours that generate a climate for love[…]

The best Couple therapy is Individual therapy

We all carry baggage. Some of us are so adept at carrying the load that our legs and back don’t buckle under the weight of it.  The problem with baggage and relationships is that the baggage (regardless of how comfortable you are with it) bumps against your partners and eventually you start blaming each other[…]

Shopping for a partner?

Relationship oriented dating (as opposed to booty call/ recreational/ casual/ short-term dating) is essentially the same process as interviewing candidates for a job placement. Executive Job Placements: If you owned a successful business and the position for managing director/CEO became available, you would be very careful and clear about the criteria required for a suitable[…]

When talking about problems Doesn’t Help

1600 words = 7minutes “I feel better about my problems when I don’t have to talk about them”, this from a child who was sent into therapy after experiencing some trauma. Boy, did she challenge the one thing that we in the helping profession assumed as ‘the truth’ i.e. talking about our problems makes us[…]

Befriend Yourself First

It’s so true. “When you get married you’re not just signing up for one marriage, you’re signing up for many marriages. It’s going to change from romantic infatuation to intimate bonding, to living together, to having children. It’ll change through family, through aging bodies and changing endocrine systems. Each one of those changes is associated[…]

EMOTIONAL anorexia

What am I actually talking about? I have had over the years several clients who have so little regard for themselves that they subject themselves daily to emotional and verbal abuse. They require so little in a relationship that the word ‘low maintenance’ doesn’t even apply to them. No maintenance. They have very little by[…]

Keeping the spark

A few conversations recently about keeping the romance alive and well in long term relationships generated some interesting results. How can we do it? Is it realistic to expect eons of rapture or will all relationships eventually become more of a business partnership with a shared objective of raising children? Not so. If our marriages[…]

Happy Holidays?

Happy holidays require joyful relationships. This festive season give a gift of joy in your relationships. In my marketing I refer to myself as ‘The Relationship Architect’ because I help individuals and couples create stable foundations and secure relationships. Essentially, as a relationship coach I understand how change happens within the dynamics and context of[…]